ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize