Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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