after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
