I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
