If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
