I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
