Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize