THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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