On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
