YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
