hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
