he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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