After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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