No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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