I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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