I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
