Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
