so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize