we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
