so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize