mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
