butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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