I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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