She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Dignity is for republicans.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
