Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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