p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
