ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
