They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
