Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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