On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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