you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
