I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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