omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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