I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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