Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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