after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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