ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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