Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
