I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Someone came in the potted fern
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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