break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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