When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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