YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
