is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
