you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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