mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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