she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
