it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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