Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
