Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
