Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
