Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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