Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
