I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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