You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize