Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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