Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
