Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Your shirt... Was in my pants
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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