butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
